I just wanted to go frolic and play in the ruins

I believe we all have a much higher purpose larger than that of what we think to believe is our cultural calling..i think under all the layers of the conventional standards that we have been environmentally saturated with throughout our whole life, is slumbering a deeper desire that has been contaminated and so unfortunately covered up..I believe life has a way of showing you these specific purposes in ways that will hopefully get you to recognize its meaning.. although shamefully most of the time in general by the standard human, it goes so utterly unnoticed due to the inability to see through the smoke and mirrors created to take you away from its divine intervention..we have specific callings so to speak, that are innate to us individually that were created in the simplest form for us to occupy..life however, gets in the way with all its rules and regulations taking your souls mission farther and farther away from its main purpose which is why sometimes we suffer horribly from many different attributes of emotional and physical toxins energetically polluting us causing and creating illnesses in return..I had a dream last night, I was traveling on some sort of an animal against my will that was carrying me on its back with some sort of a guide that was making it move quickly past a whole bunch of different colorful landscapes of spiritual ruins I wanted to visit and stop at but wasn't aloud too.. up ahead in the horizon of my view I saw a deep dark blue sea which I felt is where I was being taken instead and made me feel very anxious and angry..like it was too much for me to handle and I just wanted to go frolic and play in the ruins where it looked so antique and beautiful with religious attributes from all different philosophies I mold into my own creative beliefs..when I woke up I went to look up the meaning of the dark water which represents our emotions, our life force, the chi, and psyche..i believe the animal was an opposing life force making me go farther way from where I wanted to go, and forcing me to go deeper within my self to find the source of whatever it is I am looking for in my waking hours..a place that most of us are afraid to travel to because it means finding roots within ourselves that might bring up things we feel we are not ready to rediscover, own and become..I have never been too afraid to do the work needed as horrible as it feels to do at times, and I know I have a lots of unremembered things and places inside my being that need of me to tap into creating an opening for another spiritual awakening..i have a merlinite crystal ball that is palm size that I carry with me as a tool to help me connect to these places that offers me comfort and ease while I keep the dream alive hoping for clarity and retrospect so I can understand the calling im preparing my self for.. this is honoring the gift of intuition and allowing the working of greatness the opportunity to expand and emerge for me to witness once again divine intervention..use your dreams as a light force for expanding your purpose and greater calling..its ok to be under construction doing foundation work using the tools of your current life to exercise its reasons, making way for up and coming possibilities..if you have a nudging feeling, one that has never gone away that is always the whisper in the back of your mind, give it a bigger voice and an expanding opportunity to come out into the light! may you have the endurance to find the source that allows you this blissful experience..peace love faith hope