sometimes there is a huge confusion over the art and act of healing

how often do you poke your wounds in order to create  reason to feel something that would otherwise be in the process of healing because of the addiction to the attention it creates for you..how often do you give others permission without realizing the power behind it, the ability to rewound the emotions you have suffered from, because you are so used to feeling bad and getting rewarded for the negative behavior in the process enabling you never to elevate to a healthier healing ability..I know this sounds harsh, and very unsympathetic, yet there is a time frame and synchronicity to our journey when it comes to trauma and the ability to forgive while healing..sometimes we become more wrapped up into the whys of it happening at that specific moment because of the lack of control that we feel based around it rewounding and wounding ourselves over and over again keeping us in a state of neither here nor there..sometimes there is a huge confusion over the art and act of healing giving in to a dismissive wave of feelings that make it icky to forgive and move onward and forward, making it seem as if it meant nothing at all..in truth, it goes against our nature and the flow of life when we become dormant and spiritless in our waking time by acting behaving and believing in this way of life..the disservice we are doing and creating is harmful and creating a whole new breeding ground of negative invitations that will honor and enable the hell you wish to contain yourself in growing more weeds in your garden of rot..most people are not equipped to do the work of restoration and self improvement because it requires you to let go and step up..a lot of people are safely tucked into the state of non existence mourning the loss of self without ever realizing it had left..sometimes it forces us to see some harsh truths and decided if we are going to sink or swim, and then if you decide to swim what stroke are you going to do to get back to the shore of salvation..I used to surround my self with people who nourished an aspect I needed to change, and during my transformation I had to let go of myself while unconsciously letting go of those who were feeding me my own poison..i had to decide with every challenge and tragedy I faced if I was going to sink or swim, and by swimming meant more self work nobody really wants to do..i had to forgive horrible situations that at a time altered my spirit and make good with my inner self in order to create a happier healthier outcome..i don't know what formula I used to do it, I just knew it needed to done and I was on a quest for this kind of exquisite freedom..some people cant wrap their head around the work I have done and the way that I operate..in truth, it has absolutely nothing to do with me, its only a representation of their space in this life..some times people have a harder time letting go while poking their inner bear who will rip you to shreds and anything in its way..i found a way to honor my bear spirit, nourish its beloved presence of strength, fierce ability and find a way to heal without apology because my spirit is worth my complete presence..the truth is we all have suffered from emotional physical mental spiritual wounds and some are able to heal and some are still infected and aggravated..it is a choice to remain in the state of never allowing anything to change because you are afraid of what is going to happen next..sometimes we are so used to the toxic surrounding that being happy is now a lost memory forgetting what it feels like to be alive and with joy..don't allow your pain to over run everything, putting every other emotion to rest because of the fear in letting go of what no longer is viable..reinvest in your energy creating a reboot charge that begins to allow the light to shine back within your life getting you through some of the most difficult days in a health constructive positive way..peace love faith hope..