Lessons Learned from Confiding in the Wrong People
Navigating life's crossroads can be incredibly challenging, especially when seeking outside advice and support. Have you ever gone to someone for guidance and find yourself instead as a character in their own fear based story or got mixed messages as a way to steer you in the wrong direction from growth or change? In my own personal journey, I learned some valuable lessons about the mistakes I made and the lasting consequences of confiding in the wrong people. Has this ever happened to you?
The Misstep
Many years ago, I found myself facing some major significant life decisions and changes. With a mixture of fear, confusion, excitement and hope, I decided to confide in people I once thought I had a close trustworthy relationship with. At that time in my life they had what I thought or figured were good values—qualities that gave me assurance to their guidance. However, despite their “well-meaning” advice, opinion and judgement, I soon began to understand that their mind style, values and vision didn't align with my new direction in life.
Their advice led me to begin questioning my own truth once again, leaving me feeling hurt, confused and frustrated. Moreover, I discovered that some of those individuals, while seemingly supportive, had their own ideas about my future that had nothing to do with me at all. Having had full disclosure with them at the time left me vulnerable to outcomes that ultimately served their best interests more than mine.
When I chose to follow my own path that felt right for me, some of these people became disappointed and their frustrations quickly turned into backlash, gossip and backbiting. Experiencing the repercussions of choosing myself began making an already difficult journey even more challenging. Instead of feeling supported, I felt judged and alienated from the people I had turned to for help. I learned that their toxic guidance served a personal interest and agenda that was different than mine, which ultimately lead me to have to sever these relationships.
Key Takeaways
Importance of Alignment: It's crucial to seek advice from individuals whose values and vision align with your future, not your past or current present you are trying to change. When there's a disconnect, even the best-intended advice can lead you astray.
Trust Your Gut: Your intuition is a powerful guide. If something doesn't feel right, pay attention to that feeling. It's often a sign that the advice you're receiving isn't quite right for you.
Variety of Perspectives: Don't rely on a single source for advice. Gather insights from various people to gain a balanced view. This helps reduce the risk of being overly influenced by one perspective.
Selectivity in Confidants: Be discerning about who you choose to confide in. Look for individuals who genuinely understand your context and have your best interests at heart. Their advice is more likely to be relevant and supportive. Be cautious of those who might prioritize their own agenda over your well-being
Dealing with Backlash
One of the toughest challenges I faced was handling the backlash from those whose advice I didn't follow. Here’s how I coped:
Stay True to Yourself: Remember why you chose your path in the first place. Staying true to your values and vision will give you strength in the face of adversity.
Reevaluate Relationships: This experience brought to light who truly had my best interests at heart. It was a painful but necessary step in surrounding myself with a genuinely supportive network.
Maintain Integrity: Despite the hurtful comments and gossip, I chose to maintain my integrity. I didn't sink to their level; instead, I focused on myself, my growth and journey.
Reflect and Reconnect with Yourself
In the end, the most valuable piece of advice might come from within. Take time to reflect on your own personal values, passions, and aspirations. Trust yourself; you're more capable of finding the right path than you might think.
By sharing this experience, I hope you can avoid similar missteps and feel more confident in your decision-making process. The journey is just as important as the destination, and each lesson learned brings you closer to your true self. Remember, the right advice, support and guidence can propel you forward, but the wrong advice, support and guidence can also set you back.
Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences in the comments or via DM. Let's learn and grow together!